Okay... time for a little honesty. In high school i struggled with anorexia and bulimia. I was really good at hiding it and was down to 90 lbs. I got help from some friends who began to notice things. I eventually was able to somewhat suppress the urges to not eat or purge that i had. I got to 130... everyone said I looked healthy.
But then... I moved and a fb message isn't enough sometimes. I look in the mirror when I'm by myself and hate what I see. I am beginning to fall into the same trap I did in high school. I would say that I'm nervous about it, but that would be a total lie. I've hated myself since I began to gain weight, but I didn't want the attention I would receive if I started losing again. So, I guess it's pulled me back in... When I look better I'll start posting pictures, but not at the moment. Anyway, I wanted to start a fast today, but I work in a warm environment and have almost passed out before because I hadn't eaten anything. So, I made a cup of coffee with soy milk (70 calories), and ate some crackers (120 calories).
Total of 190 calories (That should get me through work)
Watched the Wickerman and the 13 ghosts because watching scary/bizarre movies kinda makes my urge to eat disappear. Well, actually completely disappear. I don't know why. Then I went for a short walk(It's too hot outside to walk after 6am and I couldn't wake up in enough time to get my fat butt out and run). Then I've got to go into work(It's so much easier not to eat when i'm running around like a crazy person all night). Then I'm going to bed after work because I have a lunch date for mother's day.
I will give a list of things that help me not to eat. Some you have probably read a million times. Idk. Maybe it will help someone.
Totes will post later. XoXoXoXoX
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