Sunday, May 13, 2012
I disgust myself sometimes. Last night I ate a whole turkey burger (I'm just going to say the stupid thing was close to 800 calories... I feel so bloated this morning, it isn't even funny. I was so dizzy after work though that all I could do was lay in bed. I couldn't purge it. Punishing for it today though... So I guess yesterday's total was 990 calories. ugh that's so depressing.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
List
Okay... So, here is a basic list. I will add things as I think of them. If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to add them. Oh by the way, if you're just going to tell me I'm being unhealthy, I already know that. However, if it makes you feel better to write unkind things at my expense then by all means go ahead. I can take it.
- Watch bloody, or scary movies.
- Drink lots of coffee (Black if you can) or green tea. It speeds up the metabolism.
- Get a job (If you don't have time to think about food. you won't feel as tempted)
- Draw sharpie lines on your body to map out how you want to look.
- Get plenty of sleep!
- If you are bored at home: Paint your nails, try a new hairstyle, play with new makeup looks, pick up photography(It will get you out of the house and keep your mind occupied), clean, etc. Just keep yourself busy.
- When you go out, order something you don't care for. It will help you eat less.
- If you're hungry, get up and do something.
- When I'm craving something, I eat it (when i'm alone), then purge DIRECTLY afterwards. I associate that food with vomit and no longer crave it (For a while at least).
- The big 'S'... smoking... I don't personally smoke because I don't need the extra stress on my teeth, but if you ALREADY smoke... It can help suppress your appetite.
- Drink TONS of water. If you do not purge it helps flush out toxins and pass weight through the body. If you do purge, you do NOT want to get dehydrated. Remember, water may add a pound here or there, but it helps you lose weight and keep it off for good.
- Write a poem about how you feel about yourself. Read it to yourself whenever you feel like eating.
- Set a goal for amount of calories you want to intake. I try to reduce it by 100 every 2 days. That's just me.
- Try NOT eat so little you get dizzy. When that feeling comes, your body is telling you it's in full on starvation mode. In other words, ANYTHING you eat will go straight to your thighs(I've made that mistake.)
- When you hit a weight plateau, take ONE day and eat anything you want. It will drink your body into thinking you aren't starving anymore and it will let you get those few more pounds off. (do NOT do this often. Only when you have run out of options.)
- Chew on paper, or gum(But gum has calories so be careful).
- Read a book. Go ahead, be a nerd. It's totes cool. If you want to get away from food, tan at the same time. It will give you a few moments by yourself.
- Instead of running, walk a longer distance, most of us listen to our iPods while we work out, but if you can go to a park, try taking it out. Nature can be pretty relaxing at times.
- Try being a vegetarian or vegan. Meat is gross anyway... and your saving cute animals... well you are at least refusing to take part in their torturous deaths.
- For goodness sake, STOP drinking soda. Aspartame actually PRESERVES fat cells. SO, the scale may be going down, but you're preserving that lovely cottage cheese effect on your thighs.
- Also, rapid weightless can be attributed to yucky stretch marks... so, use lotion. Take care of your skin.
- I punish myself when I fail... Self harming is never a good thing... sooooooo... I punish myself with super hard workouts. I never punish with cardio though... because I actually enjoy that.
- I do as follows:
- 1 push-up(A real one. NOT, a girl one) for the first 50 calories I added.
- 1 crunch for the second 50 calories
- 2 seconds of 'the plank' for every 1 calorie for the next 50.
- Then repeat until you get through the number of calories
(For example, today I have had 190 calories. So, I will do a total of 90 push-ups, 50 crunches, and 1 min and 40 sec of the plank.)
Anyway, those are the ones I use ALL THE TIME. If I use anything else I will post it later... Again, suggestions are appreciated.
Totes XoXoXoX
- Watch bloody, or scary movies.
- Drink lots of coffee (Black if you can) or green tea. It speeds up the metabolism.
- Get a job (If you don't have time to think about food. you won't feel as tempted)
- Draw sharpie lines on your body to map out how you want to look.
- Get plenty of sleep!
- If you are bored at home: Paint your nails, try a new hairstyle, play with new makeup looks, pick up photography(It will get you out of the house and keep your mind occupied), clean, etc. Just keep yourself busy.
- When you go out, order something you don't care for. It will help you eat less.
- If you're hungry, get up and do something.
- When I'm craving something, I eat it (when i'm alone), then purge DIRECTLY afterwards. I associate that food with vomit and no longer crave it (For a while at least).
- The big 'S'... smoking... I don't personally smoke because I don't need the extra stress on my teeth, but if you ALREADY smoke... It can help suppress your appetite.
- Drink TONS of water. If you do not purge it helps flush out toxins and pass weight through the body. If you do purge, you do NOT want to get dehydrated. Remember, water may add a pound here or there, but it helps you lose weight and keep it off for good.
- Write a poem about how you feel about yourself. Read it to yourself whenever you feel like eating.
- Set a goal for amount of calories you want to intake. I try to reduce it by 100 every 2 days. That's just me.
- Try NOT eat so little you get dizzy. When that feeling comes, your body is telling you it's in full on starvation mode. In other words, ANYTHING you eat will go straight to your thighs(I've made that mistake.)
- When you hit a weight plateau, take ONE day and eat anything you want. It will drink your body into thinking you aren't starving anymore and it will let you get those few more pounds off. (do NOT do this often. Only when you have run out of options.)
- Chew on paper, or gum(But gum has calories so be careful).
- Read a book. Go ahead, be a nerd. It's totes cool. If you want to get away from food, tan at the same time. It will give you a few moments by yourself.
- Instead of running, walk a longer distance, most of us listen to our iPods while we work out, but if you can go to a park, try taking it out. Nature can be pretty relaxing at times.
- Try being a vegetarian or vegan. Meat is gross anyway... and your saving cute animals... well you are at least refusing to take part in their torturous deaths.
- For goodness sake, STOP drinking soda. Aspartame actually PRESERVES fat cells. SO, the scale may be going down, but you're preserving that lovely cottage cheese effect on your thighs.
- Also, rapid weightless can be attributed to yucky stretch marks... so, use lotion. Take care of your skin.
- I punish myself when I fail... Self harming is never a good thing... sooooooo... I punish myself with super hard workouts. I never punish with cardio though... because I actually enjoy that.
- I do as follows:
- 1 push-up(A real one. NOT, a girl one) for the first 50 calories I added.
- 1 crunch for the second 50 calories
- 2 seconds of 'the plank' for every 1 calorie for the next 50.
- Then repeat until you get through the number of calories
(For example, today I have had 190 calories. So, I will do a total of 90 push-ups, 50 crunches, and 1 min and 40 sec of the plank.)
Anyway, those are the ones I use ALL THE TIME. If I use anything else I will post it later... Again, suggestions are appreciated.
Totes XoXoXoX
Day 1
Okay... time for a little honesty. In high school i struggled with anorexia and bulimia. I was really good at hiding it and was down to 90 lbs. I got help from some friends who began to notice things. I eventually was able to somewhat suppress the urges to not eat or purge that i had. I got to 130... everyone said I looked healthy.
But then... I moved and a fb message isn't enough sometimes. I look in the mirror when I'm by myself and hate what I see. I am beginning to fall into the same trap I did in high school. I would say that I'm nervous about it, but that would be a total lie. I've hated myself since I began to gain weight, but I didn't want the attention I would receive if I started losing again. So, I guess it's pulled me back in... When I look better I'll start posting pictures, but not at the moment. Anyway, I wanted to start a fast today, but I work in a warm environment and have almost passed out before because I hadn't eaten anything. So, I made a cup of coffee with soy milk (70 calories), and ate some crackers (120 calories).
Total of 190 calories (That should get me through work)
Watched the Wickerman and the 13 ghosts because watching scary/bizarre movies kinda makes my urge to eat disappear. Well, actually completely disappear. I don't know why. Then I went for a short walk(It's too hot outside to walk after 6am and I couldn't wake up in enough time to get my fat butt out and run). Then I've got to go into work(It's so much easier not to eat when i'm running around like a crazy person all night). Then I'm going to bed after work because I have a lunch date for mother's day.
I will give a list of things that help me not to eat. Some you have probably read a million times. Idk. Maybe it will help someone.
Totes will post later. XoXoXoXoX
But then... I moved and a fb message isn't enough sometimes. I look in the mirror when I'm by myself and hate what I see. I am beginning to fall into the same trap I did in high school. I would say that I'm nervous about it, but that would be a total lie. I've hated myself since I began to gain weight, but I didn't want the attention I would receive if I started losing again. So, I guess it's pulled me back in... When I look better I'll start posting pictures, but not at the moment. Anyway, I wanted to start a fast today, but I work in a warm environment and have almost passed out before because I hadn't eaten anything. So, I made a cup of coffee with soy milk (70 calories), and ate some crackers (120 calories).
Total of 190 calories (That should get me through work)
Watched the Wickerman and the 13 ghosts because watching scary/bizarre movies kinda makes my urge to eat disappear. Well, actually completely disappear. I don't know why. Then I went for a short walk(It's too hot outside to walk after 6am and I couldn't wake up in enough time to get my fat butt out and run). Then I've got to go into work(It's so much easier not to eat when i'm running around like a crazy person all night). Then I'm going to bed after work because I have a lunch date for mother's day.
I will give a list of things that help me not to eat. Some you have probably read a million times. Idk. Maybe it will help someone.
Totes will post later. XoXoXoXoX
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